Punching Girls

The second hostel I stayed at featured multiple men who told me stories about the times they punched women. I’m not saying I condone this, I just think that fact helps convey the strangeness of all of the people I lived with here.

Little did I know it, but my first night in this hostel I roomed with the highest concentration of women punchers. The pictures I’ve included are of this room, and the squalor it provided. This 4 man room featured a middle-aged Italian man named Valerio, a German amongst Germans named Hans, and the human giant German Lucas. Please let me share you some stories of these men so that you may better understand the character of man I roomed with.

Valerio spoke very very little English, but one night as the two of us enjoyed a box of wine together he gave me quite the lecture. The fact that the stories and advice he gave me where in inordinately clear English for Valerio seems to indicate that he has told these stories many times. He first spent about 5 minutes lecturing me on the trouble with Australian prostitutes. I nodded politely as he warned me that the pictures and advertisements for hookers are generally not accurate, and not to expect to receive the same women I order over the phone. After Valerio was certain that I understood this point he began laughing and told me that I needed to tell me a story about prostitutes. A very long story short, it concluded with a hoard of hookers hitting Valerio’s friend’s car with their stilettos because Valerio and company had attempted to drive some prostitute out to the middle of nowhere and leave her. So to stop the car from being damaged Valerio and his mates had to get out and beat them all up. Keep in mind that Valerio was laughing almost uncontrollably throughout the story, and that he looks like a balding bowling ball.

Punching women story #2:

When a group of us where heading out to a club one night Lucas informed me that he may not be allowed back into the club because last time he was there with Hans they got into a fight with… you guessed it, a girl. Lucas thought it would be funny to continually pinch a girls butt, and pretend that Hans was doing it. The girl believed this and ended up throwing a drink in Hans’ face and slapping him. Upon witnessing this act Lucas punched the girl, and was promptly kicked out. Lucas too told me this story while laughing uncontrollably. I did not believe Lucas until we arrived at the club and all of the bouncers had a few words with him about the incident before he was allowed in.

There must be some sort of European sense of humour I’m not accustomed to yet, because neither of these stories sounded that funny to me. They mostly sounded like assault.

Also interesting is the way the German’s partied at the club. I was very curious to see how they would handle themselves, and like the Welsh kids I had met at the previous hostel, they exhibited curiously bi-curios tendencies. When Lucas and Hans got to the dance floor they immediately moved towards the DJ and began dancing together. This seemed innocuous enough at first, but they just never stopped. They never got a drink, never went to the bathroom, never did anything but dance with each other while wearing their little fanny packs (I never asked why they wore them constantly or what was in them). At one point I approached them to inform them that I group of girls wanted to dance, and wanted me to grab some friends. To this invitation for co-ed dance, they replied “No” and continued dancing together.

Also at the hostel was a hilarious Pilipino kid named Joe. The Germans called him Joe-rilla behind his back because he was always drunk, and was gorilla like in appearance and tendencies.

That’s enough. I just want you all to get a feel for the people I have been meeting.


The Germans - Left to Right: Lucas, Lassa, Hans, James

The Germans – Left to Right: Lucas, Lassa, Hans, James

It smells worse than it looks. I'm top bunk above Valerio

It smells worse than it looks. I’m top bunk above Valerio

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  1. Pingback: A patience for limited accommodations: Part 1 | j breezy baby

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