Suck it nerds I’m getting paid! That’s right. You read it here first. Mr. James Calabrese, BS in Civil Engineering, is gainfully employed at the “Manly Fight Gym” AND “Henry Africa’s.” Did you see that ‘AND’ I included? That is because I have two jobs, thus necessitating the conjunction ‘and.’ If I recall correctly, when I dipped out of the US you all only had one job, and some even had zero. Even you dad, you only have one job. Look how your son has succeeded in the big wide world. Two jobs… I do the work of two men. Pretty impressive, I know.
At the Fight Gym I have been entrusted with the all important duties of “receptionist.” I also have the pleasure of working weekends where I will be renovating the establishment with the owner. So that is practically two jobs in itself. Receptionist and Handyman. Now I’m up to three jobs, but to be modest I’ll say I work 2.5 jobs (but still do the work of 3 men).
I’m also employed at Henry Africa’s: a very fancy cocktail bar / club on the beach. For those of you who visited me at the Buffalo Wing University just imagine the exact opposite of that, and that is where I work. Instead of $2 beers, I now serve $20 cocktails. To be honest, I’m only a mere barback, but still an important member of the team. I know I made a pretty smart cocktail before coming to the OZ, but just think about the concoctions I’ll be slinging when I come home.
Because I’m working at a boxing gym, if people don’t like my drinks I can just hit them, and if getting KO’d by the guy who just handed you a mojito upsets you, then I’ll just renovate your home to make up for it. These 2.5 jobs are less like jobs, and more like investments in myself. The life I can lead with these new skills… I’ll be unstoppable.